Today was one of the worst most boring days ever. All my friends are gone and I don't have anything to do. I've spent the last two days cooped up in this fucking room I can't stand being in one place too long. I can't wait to be drunk again, so hopefully that happens soon.

Yesterday was pretty cool, I spent the whole day with Mariah. We went to arrowhead, she did all of the shopping. Then we went to go eat at Hooters it was pretty nice. After we went to Harkins to go see Milk it was good, but all of the gay love scenes were a little disturbing. I can safely say that I will never get tired of spending a whole day with her. I guess we're going to the movies this weekend to see Benjamin Button.

Today was a good day, I did a little photography which came out pretty well. Went to Tempe Town Lake and the hills with antennas on top of it. I don't feel as bad today I sort of got over it. It still hurts though and I know for a while it will continue. I've never felt that way about a girl and I don't ever want to feel it again. Thank god I have my good friend Joel, he helped me so much yesterday. I know tonight I'm going to reminisce and I'll feel like shit once again, nights always do that to me.

Well now I know that there's a first time for everything. I will never forget last night, it was good for my body, but bad for my soul. I feel like shit today and I can't help it, I've always bragged about not getting caught up with any girl. I am now and it doesn't feel too good when it's not going to work and I can't seem to come to terms with that. I don't ever think I'll find another girl so perfect for me, Karma is the biggest bitch and now I can truly believe in it. I can't wait to be myself again and not worry, I've gained some experience on what love can feel like and it's awful, I fucking hate it with every ounce of life I have in my body.

There are things that I will never understand, things that just make obstacles for me. But I swear it; I will keep doing what I'm doing untill I get what I want. I just want to be happy, but like always happiness is severly short-lived. Too bad yesterday ended the way it did there some thing I wish I could have said. I've got today though, and the rest of my life.

Today was a good day I suppose. The semester ended and I passed all of my classes so that takes so much stress away from me. I can't wait to back out to the movies with Mariah, we're going to see Milk, hopefully its good. I really hope the right time occurs so that I can make my move, I want it to be memorable.

Today was pretty fun eventhough I can't stop coughing if my life counted on it. Today I went to school and got out pretty early, so can't complain about that. I wanted to walk Mariah home but instead I had Alex drive her there. Then Alex and I went to the Verizon store to pay his bill which took like fifteen minutes. Then we got back to his house and chilled there for a bit, I fell asleep though for like an hour. After that we went with Jordan to go inquire about the tattoo he wants for his 19th birthday. He didn't end up getting it though, he's going to get it tomorrow. Then we just went back to Alex's and just sort of sat around all day. And that was basically it for all day. Oh yeah, we have one last day in this semester. I can't wait to see if I passed all of my classes.

I feel really confused today, I like this girl and she acknowledges that and I'm good there. But she's hard to understand, she gets embarrassed pretty easy. I don't want to come off as awkward to her but I don't know how else to show that I'm extremely interested in her. But I can't stress enough how much it means to me that she spends time with me. I honestly hope she will grow on to me.