It's been fourteen days since I've written here and not much has changed. I haven't gotten much done at all and it really bothers me. I've already broken one of my resolutions which was to quit smoking, I guess I'm not yet strong enough to deal with life without a little nicotine. As for "you", I don't know exactly what to do, I don't understand you and I don't think that I'll ever know truly what you think. I don't even know if I should keep trying maybe it's finally time for me just to get on with my life and find someone else. But no one, that I know of can ever remotely be like you, that's probably what drew me to you. Oh well, that life we live for the moment only.

Today seemed to be pretty good, I mean I don't feel any problems right now. Now I really know why and I'm glad it happened you got what you deserved. I can't believe I'm finally going to get a job! I can't wait to save a lot of money so that I can buy a car... I hope life just gets better, I hope that person I'm thinking of can come to their senses can just look past what I am and see who I really am. Now that I know what potential I have I'm going to use it, I've just got to give off the right vibe.
I must confess, but I'm in love with my own sins.
-Fall out boy

So today was just a total waste of time. I tried to get my phone activated, but it didn't work apparently I don't have service on it. Here we go again I wish I had a girl that I can rely on and that doesn't let me down. I just feel like I have huge hole in me and when I'm with a girl I really like(ed) it all goes away.
I just want to find someone that can accept me for who I am and that makes me feel good about myself. At least I've got another 362 days to find her. Lately I feel so damn bored I know exactly what it is and everything reminds me of what it is, seriously there has been so many signs today it's insane or am I? Maybe I am but who cares? The resolutions for this year that I have made have definitely made time feel a lot longer than it really is. I don't know if I want to go back to school or not because I don't know how it'll turn out, fuck it though I've just got to get myself out there. Hopefully something give way soon, something good needs to happen.

2009 who would have though that I'd make it this far? Not me that's for sure, so much has changed for me some good and some bad ones. But I don't regret any of it nor would I trade it for the world. If it's one thing I've learned from 2008 it's that people can be very deceitful and the only thing you really have is yourself. Some things I can honestly say I would have done differently some things, but hey, we learn from trial and error. Mostly errors though. I've been shaped into a totally different person but I like the way I am. Oh yeah one of the most valuable things I learned too was; how to truly appreciate what I do and I don't have. As for 2009 I'm ready to further myself into what I will become and the power to resolute what I want.
1. Quit smoking
2. Get the girl I'm crazy about
3. Lose weight
4. Finish school
5. Move into my own place
6. Get a car
7. Be who I really am
8. Weed out the "scum"
9. Live my life
Here I come 2009 so be ready for me because this is MY TIME.