Gosh it's been so long again, I don't even feel like counting the days that I haven't blogged online. But I'll get started anyway, so I've been good for the whole month of January, but I know that it could have been far better than what it was. I still haven't stopped smoking, I can't, I need it way too much. It does help me cope with a lot. I still want a girlfriend and I don't that I'll find anyone soon, but I still hope that I can find this one girl, but I haven't seen her lately and I don't even know her name. But I hope I can find her and start talking to her. I've recently re-kindled my passion for California and I want to go live there after high school. I don't know though, I'm not sure about anything anymore. I simply just want to be happy with my life and not have to worry so much, I want to have something that'll keep me sane or someone for that matter.