I guess that I'll just get back into my trend of blogging, it's sort of fun after all. Anyway I just wanted to talk to myself, I had a pretty good day it wasn't too exciting, I did the usual.
which was to go to school, have a talk with some friends at lunch, leave, come back, drop off Mariah, and hang out with my boys. You know it's funny that even though someone doesn't do too much during the day, it's still better than being home by yourself. Although I don't have much now I still want it all. Is that bad? Do I even care anymore? It's just that there's always something more to life than just the 'norm' I want it, but I can't fucking get it, I know what it is, but I can't fucking get it. I guess there really are times when you just have to say "don't be an idiot, open your goddamn eyes and walk your happy-ass away." But I'm too stubborn to listen to even myself, but I need to because I'm just breaking myself down. I've already got my eye set on someone else now, I haven't seen her in a few days now and I'm starting to just look for random girls that'll fill the hole in this life of mine. And I always say this and I'll say it till the day I kick the fucking bucket, I just want to be happy. Things don't stay the same so I shouldn't be foolish and move the fuck on. But with Valentine's Day just around the corner... I'd be really nice to actually participate and with someone I actually like, but if I did it would be a completely one-sided thing and I'd look like a goddamn fool. I just don't know anymore, but I'm going to keep optimistic about this and just hope that the absolute best comes to me because I'm always looking but I never seem to find it.